tolerance – The Agape Narrative Project

There is currently a crisis in some particular cities and, more importantly, in every American’s heart these past few days. Fires are raging while clouds of chemicals rise from the feet of protesters and police. Batons and shields are met with improvised weapons on a blacktop battlefield set with a curfew. Soaring mists of pepper spray jet through the air while screams and chants hum through the cracks of our cities. It is important to remember why all of this happened. It is important because valuable items are being stolen right before our eyes. You may be thinking “surely, he must be writing about the amount of damage and looting of the local stores found in these cities like Minneapolis and Philadelphia, no?” How about “this author must be speaking about the vandalism on police vehicles or the loss of jobs, correct?” Nope! WE are talking about black lives! WE are talking about our own people. WE are angered by the years of mishandled cases. WE are infuriated by decades of racism that was weaved within society. WE are tired of being spoon fed a narrative that has manipulated other races into thinking that what is happening is not an issue. WE are tired of explaining it to people who do not want to listen with open minds and have already chosen their side firmly.

The division based on the side show of the riots has made people lose sight of the main act of the play. This type of straw man yellow journalism has been used to side stage major issues like racism for as long as we can collectively remember. The amount of deaths, wrongful convictions, mistreatment, and torture we have allowed for our fellow human beings to endure is no longer being met with an accepting mass of people controlled by the media to just say “okay”. With every “but” or excuse we find ourselves no longer focusing on how we are helping but more with how to keep our way of life the same. You say the police were wrong with the murder of George Floyd but rioting and looting is not the way to honor this man. Get rid of the excuses and focus on that first part of the sentence. Are you so quick to conform to your normalcy and judge indiscriminately that the entire first part of the sentence no longer has value or weight? Does this man along with all of the other clear examples of murdering unarmed black people not hold as much value to you than the stock of Target? Does the lives of our neighbors, brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers no longer matter when they are black? Did you ever think that when you take away from the fact that you are comfortably sitting in your own space free from worry about “accidentally” being shot or “justifiably” murdered based off of the continually pushed narrative that you are “less civilized” or “more likely to commit crime” which lead to the ignorance of your culture based off of your skin color that maybe you could understand the pain of other people?

If you have no idea what I am talking about I ask you to do the same thing I had to do in order to understand. Talk to people and really listen to them. Sympathize with their struggles and see the similarities between other races and cultures to your own. Notice your privilege from being on the safer side of the equation. Take the time to know a person and care about their culture because we are destroying it due to ignorance and hate. Open yourself up to understanding racism as a judgment and hierarchy and not just hate and you will see it is a process within our daily lives. A simple quote is “If you aren’t part of the solution than you are part of the problem”. Use your privilege to help make the correct changes so that we do not feel the anger that causes riots. Stand by our brothers, sisters, and neighbors in unity against the allowance of unjustified death with too little repercussions. Our “normal” is not worth the destruction and isolation of other races for our comfort. Our comfort needs to come with the price of fairness and logic for all people to be free as we tote on our country’s tag lines that only some benefit from while others are murdered in our streets or even in the safety of their own homes. No more false narratives. No more injustice. No more peace. No more excuses.

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
— Oscar Wilde.

This is something I have felt strongly about since the first time I put anything up on YouTube or saw a rant on Facebook from a fake account. People belittling each other for fun as it would seem, but many really have strong beliefs in the hate they spew. I find myself noticing some people have donned the mask with their full identities available. Remember the times when racism, homophobia, and hate speech were behind closed doors and life was better? Was it really better? Is doxxing making it better or worse? Did behind closed doors really make it any better? Did knowing the name give you justice?

I once spoke with a co worker about these feelings in 2013. For those of you who did not notice, I am a white male. The epitome of “privilege” from a broke ass family who is told I have the world by the balls every day for having external sexual reproductive organs and fair skin. All I know is that my balls itch and I burn easy. Fair trade I guess for the grand idea that I am a walking demigod. My co worker was a black man from Philly (Philadelphia for the uninitiated) and he was very much a people watcher. Some would write “Fred” off as non-confrontational and mild mannered. A family man who did his job, coached his kids, and loved his car. But I knew “Fred” for a long time. I knew the stories he only mentioned off the clock.

One day we got to have a real conversation about race. So there I am working with “Fred”, a Liberian born black man who is close to me in age , and someone in the immediate area says the “N-word.” I never even once got assumed to be the person to say it. It happened immediately behind me and they were both on the other side of the machine and had no visual of anyone else. When I looked at “Fred” he immediately said “Couldn’t have been Fuzz” and just went back to work. I appreciated his lack of assumption and obvious lack of rationality but it led me to ask him “why not me?” It’s not like I have never said the word in any capacity. So I asked him…

“Fred” told me a story about when he worked in a factory in Philly. He worked with a man that would call any black man he saw doing something he didn’t agree with racial slurs. Usually saving the “N-word” for more extreme cases, but that man never once posed a threat to “Fred” or any other person at work. Confused and interested, I asked “How was he not a threat?” In which he replied “It’s not the ones that call you a N-word to your face, it’s the ones that say it behind your back you need to watch out for.”

I never thought of me openly talking about my own prejudices and questioning everything as me letting my guard down and telling others I was safe. I thought it was normal. My whole life I got in trouble for saying the truth until I learned about when, and most importantly, WHO you can trust. I always had this thought in the back of my head until I ran across the quote above. I thought of all the fake profiles on social media that would stir up hate and ruin peoples day for no reason. It wasn’t like Skankhunt42 level comedy or anything. So what was the point? I saw that none of them were really giving you a way to know who they were. They were the ones we needed to watch out for.

So what if they came to light? Would they be ostracized or mauled in the street? Admittedly, I was late to a lot of things in life. Reddit was never really something I utilized or the dreaded Twitter. When doxxing started happening I felt it could be a cure to draw out people of hate and have them atone for their actions in some way. Maybe this would help them see the error in their ways and help bring conversation to the topics? Quickly we saw the social media justice machine just go off the deep end and it became judge, jury, and executioner on so many levels since then. So it didn’t really make a big impact. Now people just say “fuck it” and own their own brand. Telling people to “Unfollow me or block me if you don’t (insert any bs here).”

So where does that leave us now in 2019? When people are openly assaulting one another over red hats and chanting “Send her back” at political events? When people feel rewarded for being banned from social media as if it shows you’re against the “Liberal Agenda.” When you can make unsubstantiated claims of whatever you want to make up and people have to prove they never said or did it to begin with? We have a generation of people that are so closed minded they shut out every thought process or conversations that doesn’t align with the opinion they have temporarily made. Are we in a time where the mask and the person are one and the same?

I talk to my co host twice a week about racism and prejudice. We can have a civil conversation and know where we stand, but if I look at the social media engagement he gets from aggressive white people wanting to knock down his opinion or stance with no willingness to converse, or the hate cards being dropped with no one being allowed to question it… well I find myself appalled with how logic, reasoning, discussion, and tolerance have disappeared from the mindset of those around us.

I started this blog to show that behind every mask is not bad intent. Sometimes it’s just sad truths, from my perspective. Maybe it’s a story from an unlikely hero. Maybe we get to know a little more about goals and dreams we never thought about. I hope to give insight and stir deliberation amongst people like we should be used to but with the walls taken down. There is nothing wrong with being wrong and there is nothing great about being right. In the end it should all be about understanding and growth as a culture. Read more than a headline. Act like a civilized human being. Crave understanding. Learn tolerance. Be disciplined.

Tag: tolerance

No More Excuses

From Anonymous to Proud