The Little Person

I have been talking to an older wiser person as of late and found them I am guilty of failing the most important person in my life. Me. He explained to me how in side of each one of us is a smaller person. This super ego was bathed in our upbringing. The conversation of nurture verses nature or how we are conditioned is what drives the personality of that little person inside of you. Are you lost yet? Well I have a few other ways of explaining how I understood this concept and where it led me on my journey thus far. Think of this little person as a seed. It is usually hard and surrounded by a firm but still softer meat/exterior. This softer shell is your current personality that has been molded by the design of the seed. Like many things in nature, nothing is usually exactly alike. Those minute differences in how the seed has set or how much water and sun it received will dictate everything about how that final product will become.

So now you get the visual concept but why does this matter? In our current upbringing we really push for external factors to please us. Likes on social media, how often you are tagged in pictures, complements, income level, etc. We are all looking at everyone else for validation. That little person is surrounded by a much more pliable and weakened surface due to these taught responses. I like when people say they are being “forged”. The concept of being tested under extreme conditions has always produced a stronger material over time. This kind of thinking will bring positivity to hardships and failures as they make you stronger than before. External confidence is great for lifting your spirits temporarily, but it really doesn’t have the same effect of the internal forging. Imagine if you could give yourself confidence and manifest your own options. That does not mean you have to be prideful and do everything alone but at the end of the day you need to have the belief that you really did give effort to something and reward yourself for every step. That last part is tremendously important to people feeling lost. When I was out of work for 2 years with an injury I never once celebrated. It sounds stupid right? Why reward myself for falling so low? It took me two years to catch up to where I was 4 years prior. I had more debt than ever before and was making less money than before my injury. It has been 6 years since that injury. So again I ask, why celebrate? Because I made it. It’s really that simple of a concept. Those other factors don’t matter when you look at what I have achieved. I overcame the most difficult part of my life. I spent 2 years with no income and crawled back into a labor-intensive work environment. Even with all the pain and suffering I have performed many shows, recorded several songs, started a podcast, learned several trades, and bought a home. The point is I was always so busy at looking at where others were in life or how they perceived me that I made the pressure and suffering harder than it needed to be. So how do we do that?

  All that starts with looking inside at your little person.  The most important thing about looking internally is the clarity it brings.  Once you can calibrate your own vision of yourself the world around you will finally become focused.  You have been walking around with bad vision your whole life asking other people who can’t see “which way do I go?”  Sometimes you don’t have the courage to ask and find yourself following a mass group of people thinking you found the direction you should go while everyone still feels misplaced.  Looking in the mirror is not easy for most people.  The reality is you are looking at the results of your choices and the circumstance you have been dealt.  Watching your actions through a third person perspective helps you understand how complacent you are.  Phrases like “I don’t have time for that”, “why should I have to do it”, or “it’s too hard” will annoy you.  These words should bother you.  They are the sounds of complacency and it has a strong hold on those who chant its false narrative.   

To achieve that clarity you have to understand what drive you and what holds you back. Comfort is a big factor. That job or person in your life seems to be good enough to just call the quits. Just hang in there and it will all work out is how comfort speaks to you. It whispers in your ear about how going to the gym or studying is not going to please you right now so why not binge watch Netflix and eat some McDonalds. The reality is that your seeking comfort because you are running from your fears. Your fears of failure or inadequacy drive you to need this comfort. Your littler person is in control when you default to this lifestyle. Understanding this will highlight when you are letting your earlier years dictate what you are doing now or if you are making progress. When I know I have to prepare for the recording studio but I decide to go to the bar with friends, spend upwards of $100, and didn’t get enough sleep on a day that I know is important is ridiculous. yet we make these poor decisions daily because we don’t understand ourselves. Self-worth comes with self-understanding which breeds self-success. Building better habits while enjoying them will bring you way more happiness in life and so will building stronger relationships with similar minded people. Many people quote the phrase “you are the sum of your 5 closest friends” or something along those lines. This is not only true but really hard to overcome. That person has been in your life for X amount of years or did this for you in the past. I am not advising you to cut everyone out of your life but think of it like this: If they aren’t filling your tank they are just using up more of your gas.

This article will really come down to a few things; you have to understand your little person, you must challenge your fears, and it is ok to fail. A lot of these things are really basic, but you are still not utilizing your knowledge of these facts to help yourself. Seeking validation on Facebook or approval on Twitter does not improve you position in life. Engaging in challenging situations and making more for yourself by targeting your goals will improve every aspect of your life. There is no way of changing your life for the better if you never take the steps to do so. Maybe you can win the lottery, but you have to play and understand the odds. When you hesitate to turn your “should do” into “will do” you leave an opening for comfort to speak up. Do not give that little person the wheel. There are no guarantees in this world, but I can personally tell you that understanding yourself and finding your own path in this life will never allow you to fail yourself more than you are right now by doing nothing. Commit to yourself and flourish.